Even The Best Fall Down Sometimes
by lizziec1993
Summary: Takes place during the summer in between Now Or Never and New Beginnings. On her 18th birthday, Fiona is alone in Toronto needing something to comfort her when it's too much to take. But, she realizes she has something else she can turn to that's a lot more healthy for her.
1. Alone Again

_a/n: so, I made Fiona's birthday be in July instead of the assumed December. I feel like the writers just messed up making her 17 in In The Cold, Cold Night. SO, we can just say she was 18 but her trust fund didn't kick in until she was 25 instead (which is entirely common). Also, the year is based on the fact that the class she was originally supposed to graduate with was class of 2011 & it was said she was born in '93. Degrassi timeline is confusing with all the retcons and what-not. Anyways, I hope you enjoy! Constructive criticism is very much appreciated. But, I totally just appreciate the views. _

_July 15th, 2011*_

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><p>Waking up to a quiet loft in the early hours of the morning, Fiona Coyne groaned as she rolled over to face her bedside table. Squinting at the red numbers displayed on the face of her clock she groaned once more — it was only a little passed <strong>six AM<strong>. It was summer, she wanted to sleep for at least another couple of hours. Maybe more.

Burrowing her head into her soft pillow, the brunette close her eyes in hopes of falling back asleep. But, those hopes were dashed when her mind kept going like an hyperactive child. The thoughts of the day ahead were what was keeping her up.

It was her eighteenth birthday.

She had, of course, been happy that she would get to spend the momentous occasion at home and not in the rehab center. The socialite had been discharged two weeks earlier after having been in in-patient for four weeks, the rest would be spent as part of an out-patient program.

But; with her family in New York, Holly J still recovering from the transplant, and Anya already gone for basic training Fiona felt very alone on her birthday. Nothing new, of course. She had felt this way last year with Declan and Holly J spending all their time together as a couple, and Fiona trying to worm her way in being left feeling like a third wheel.

Resignedly, Fiona turned over onto her back, grabbing her phone off the imported end table. After sliding the unlock button, she opened the facerange app scrolling it's contents until she reached the point of where she left off the night before. After checking all her social media accounts, and playing her turn in Words With Friends, Fiona took note of the time —**seven o'clock.**

She sighed, sending out a tweet lamenting her lack of sleep. _Been awake for an hour. Was hoping to sleep late today. oh well. #sotired_

Deciding she might as well start her day now, the curly-haired girl walked the short distance to her bathroom. Her bare feet moving across the soft carpet, then to the cold hardwood floor. Once in the bathroom, Fiona went straight to turn the water on in the shower. Letting it heat up as she disrobed, she slowly stuck her foot in before stepping the rest of the way in.

Emerging **forty-five minutes later**, Fiona exited the bathroom with her silk bathrobe and her hair wrapped in a towel. She grabbed her phone, seeing a couple of notifications. One being a reply to her tweet: _ TheHollyJ: FifiCoyne Still on for your birthday lunch? I can't wait to see you. I'm practically dying of boredom over here._

A large smile appeared on her face as she read the tweet from her best friend. Their plans were simple; Fiona would go to Holly J's house with food she would pick up on her way. The redheaded girl's activities were limited, she could do things; but nothing too strenuous. And she tired easily. So, they decided on the simplistic lunch and a movie at Holly J's.

Fiona hit reply, _ TheHollyJ of course, wouldn't miss it for the world. :)_

After she was done getting ready for the day, it was nearly **nine**. She still had three hours to kill before she went to Holly J's. Pacing around the loft, trying to find something to distract her from this gnawing feeling growing with in her. Eventually, she decided to reorganize her makeup. By type, with a subcategory of color.

When she was done it was just passed **nine-thirty**. Fiona huffed out a sigh, and moved on to her nail polish. The shelf was already organized by color —Roy B. Giv. But, she went about redoing it anyway. Deciding to do it differently; alphabetically by color this time. Starting with blue, ending with yellow. Lining them up in a perfect line as she set them on the shelf.

About halfway through her phone buzzed. Checking it to see a text from her mom. _Happy birthday, fifi! Sorry I couldn't be there to celebrate with you. Call me if you need anything. love you._

Fiona smiled again, still sad at the fact that she couldn't be with her mom or her brother—who she still had to text happy birthday to. She sent a simple _love you, too_ to her mom. then typed up a message to her twin. _Happy birthday! hope you enjoy celebrating your 18th birthday in NY. Can't believe we're spending it apart. Behave yourself, and eat a piece of NY cheesecake for me? :)_

It would be their first birthday apart, and probably not the last. It was a sad thought, but she knew their lives were bound to go in separate directions from here. With him attending Yale in the fall, and her spending another year in the halls of Degrassi. And then going who-knows-where after graduation. Maybe she'd be back in New York. Or maybe she'd be in Paris. Or London. Or…anywhere, really.

Or maybe she'd just stay here. Though, at this moment she's not so sure she'd have anything to stay for. She's not so sure if she should've stuck around to finish high school here. As of right now, she's pretty sure she's going to be utterly alone and friendless.


	2. Slipping

At **five minutes passed twelve,** Fiona arrived at her best friend's place. She carefully juggled the take-out food she picked up on the way as she reached the door. Walking in without knocking, the two of them were close enough that they didn't need to knock when arriving at each other's houses.

"Your favorite person in the world is here!" Fiona called out as she walked into the living room, discovering Holly J sitting on the couch reading a book of some sort. _Of course, Holly J Sinclair would be reading during summer vacation. _She mused to herself as she set the food on the coffee table.

"Fiona!" Holly J exclaimed, looking up from her book which she then abandoned on the end table. "I am so glad to see you. You don't know how boring it's been." Fiona feels guilty for how she felt this morning. Like, her life is really that bad when her best friend just went through a life threatening illness that resulted in a _kidney transplant._

"Well, soon you'll be at Yale and life will be a little less boring. Though, I don't know how that could be possible without me there with you. But, you'll have to make do" she assures Holly J, holding herself with as much confidence as possible. Hoping her best friend won't pick up on anything that may be bothering her.

"So, what fabulous things do you have planned for today?" The redhead inquires of her friend, who simply offers up a shrug.

"Oh, you know, this and…that. Nothing special, really," Fiona answers, turning away to take their lunch out of the bag. "Besides, of course, lunch with you" she faces Holly J once more, flashing her a smile.

"But, enough about me…what about you? How are _you_ doing?"

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><p>After their lunch was eaten, and the movie watched, Fiona could see her best friend was fighting back her oncoming sleepiness. "I should probably get going, you need your rest if you're going rule at Yale in the fall" Fiona announces softly, getting up from the space on the couch.<p>

"Fi, call me if you need to, okay?" Holly J looks up at her with worry in her eyes. She knows Fiona way too well. But, she also knows not to push it. She just has to hope Fiona will do it on her own.

"I'll be fine, Holly J," she assures, not quite believing it herself. "Now, you rest. I'll talk to you later." The two share a hug, and Fiona's off.

She walks along the path to the dot, a path taken many times by the girl. The coffee's terrible, but there's just something about the place that keeps pulling her in. Getting her coffee to go, she looks around at the nearly empty cafe; thinking how different it seems without all the Degrassi students filling the small space.

When the barista handed her drink to her, she thanked her before slipping a dollar or two into the tip jar. Fiona then went back to her loft, where she'd be all alone with only her thoughts to keep her company.

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><p><strong>Hours later,<strong> Fiona is down on the ground in the kitchen with her head in the small cabinet; holding her phone up for light. Moving things around a bit before she spots the thing she's looking for — a bottle. It had been stashed there six weeks earlier just in case she needed it. And she did. She just wasn't strong enough to stay away from the bubbly beverage.

Dusting it off, Fiona popped it open and took a swig. In a matter of minutes, she had drank half the bottle. The more she drank, the more at-ease she felt.

Soon, she was completely drunk. Almost finished with the bottle, too. _Damn._ She thought bitterly. She couldn't exactly go out to get more at this point.

She sighed, picking up her phone to scroll through twitter. Her vision blurred as she tried to read the glowing screen. Eventually, it clears up enough allowing her to concentrate on the tweets. The girl notices one she had missed before. _ RealEli: FifiCoyne hope your birthday has been great. We really need to get together soon. Coffee at the dot?_

Suddenly, tears are spilling out from her eyes. God, how could she forget the person who helped her through the last semester? The two of them had gotten so close while working on the play, and even after. So, why had she written him off?

She supposes there was apart of her that had assumed their friendship was short-lived. They would grow apart over the summer, then return to school with him back in his own group of friends; Adam and Clare and whoever else made up their little group.

Next thing she knows, she's hitting the button to call him. Her hands are shaking. Holding her free hand out in front of her, trying to steady it before clenching it in a fist. When she hears a groggy voice on the other end, she mentally kicks herself for calling so late.

"Fiona? Are you there?" Eli asks, a slight edge of concern to his voice.

Taking a deep breath, she croaks out a "Yeah," clearing her throat before continuing. "I am." Then she's crying again, "I-i messed up. God, why am I such a fuck-up?"

"Fi…" he starts softly. "You're not, okay? We all make mistakes sometimes. We can get through this." He pauses, letting his words sink in before continuing. "I'm coming over. I'll be there in fifteen."

He was there in ten.

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><p>an: I would totally appreciate hearing what you all think. Suggestions are welcomed, as well. Hope you all have a lovely new year!


	3. Comfort

It's early, or late depending on how you look at it, Fiona's feeling _incredibly_ guilty for being a bother to her friend. "You're not bothering me, really. I wanted to come over. I offered, right?" At Fiona's nod, Eli continues; "So, do you want to tell me what happened here?" His voice is soft as he speaks, glancing toward the empty bottle she left on the coffee table.

Fiona sighs, looking around the living room from the place she's seated at on the couch. She's bracing herself, trying to figure out how to explain it. She avoids his gaze as she begins, always having a hard time meeting someone's eyes when she's baring her soul like this.

"I was _alone_. On my birthday. Ending up alone has always been my worst fear," She pauses for a second, taking a breath before she continues. "Charlie said that I'm alone because I push people away…and she's right. _I do._ I push people away because I'm too afraid of asking for their help." She stops, then looks down at the floor speaking once more with sorrow; "Or that they'll realize just how much of a mess I am and leave."

There's a pause before Eli speaks, putting thought into his words. "Well, you're asking for help now, aren't you?" He pauses as she nods. "So, I think that's a sign you're not as bad off as you thought. You're getting better, it just doesn't happen overnight. Believe me, it doesn't."

Fiona finally looks up, she wiped away the tears that have wetted her cheeks. "I know," a small smile tugs at her lips. "I guess you're right," she agrees with his assessment that she was, indeed, getting better. She just wasn't all the way there yet. "I mean, a few months ago, I probably wouldn't have reached out to anyone at all. At least now I was able to call you; even if it was a little late."

Seeing her smile, even though it's small, brings forth a smile of his own. "See? Besides, we're all a little messed up. Some of us are just a little more messed up than others. If that scares people away then they don't deserve to be in our lives."

"Thank you," she spoke quietly, grateful for the fact that she has good friends in her life. "For coming over, for understanding."

"No need to thank me, it's what friends are for," Eli reassured. Looking toward the bottle once more, he spoke; "Why don't I help you take care of this?" Getting up from his seat next to her, holding the bottle at its neck. He takes it away, into the kitchen; disposing of it into the recycling bin she had left out of the cabinet when she was digging for the bottle.

Eli is sure to check said cabinet before sliding the bin back in, ensuring the girl wasn't hiding more back there. "You're not hiding any more, right?" Fiona shakes her head at his question; she's pretty sure there's not any more alcohol in the loft.

"You can look, if you want" she offers, meeting his gaze. It's almost as if she's challenging him; to what, she doesn't know. But, with a nod, he accepts. Opening cabinets that are, for the most part, empty. A few cups, a few bowls, some plates —stuff she's hardly touched in the almost-year she's lived there. Some food items are housed in one of the cabinets; mostly snack foods as, not really knowing how to cook, she orders in a lot.

He continues his search, coming back with a half-drank bottle in his hand. Her heart is pounding so hard, she's afraid it might escape from her chest. Her palms are sweating, "Where did you find that?" Her brow furrows as she stares at the bottle.

"Your bedside table," he states, standing across from her; staring her down.

She racks her brain, trying to remember when it could've been stashed there. How long has it been there for? It was right next to her every night, tucked away inside the table while she was tucked away in her bed. "Eli, I didn't know. You _have_ to believe me," she pleads, afraid he'll think she's lying.

His eyes search her face for a moment, while Fiona nervously waits his assessment. "I believe you," he reassures, moving a few feet closer. "Let's pour this out," he offers his hand to her. She takes it without much hesitation, and the two walk to the kitchen. Standing over the sink, they pop off the cork and begin to pour. Watching the amber liquid run down the drain, Fiona feels a sense of comfort in this simple act; a sense of freedom.

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><p>an: thank you to all that have been reading and for the review! It means a lot to me. Anyways, hope you all enjoy this chapter; it's a little shorter than the others but I felt it was a good place to end it.


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